The history of the African country of Rwanda has been marred by atrocity and tragedy. In the mid-nineties, during the Rwandan Civil War, a campaign of genocide took place. The conflict rose out of a longstanding hatred between the Hutu and the Tutsi tribes within the Rwandan population. In 1994, Hutu forces moved against Tutsi Rwandans as well as members of the Hutu people who tried to defend the Tutsis. The death toll has been estimated from 600,000 to 1,000,000. During this time, a Tutsi woman named Immaculée Ilibagiza lost her entire family, but later made the difficult choice to forgive the people responsible for the brutal massacre. She went on to write a best-selling book entitled “Left to Tell” and created a charitable fund to help children who have been orphaned in genocidal wars.
Stories like this are noteworthy because forgiveness is so rare, so needed, and so powerful. Christians are those who should understand forgiveness better than anyone, but we sometimes fall short in that regard. Forgiveness can be a difficult topic to study because we often find reality and the behavior of others as being so different from the message of the Bible. According to Thayer’s Greek Definitions, “to forgive” in the New Testament means to send away, to give up, or to keep no longer. You can think of this as a financial term as well—to cancel a debt. In personal relationships, the term describes giving up your anger—to no longer wish to harm, punish, or exact revenge.
The Bible reveals the need for two different types of forgiveness. First, there is forgiveness of sins, which can only come from God through Christ’s blood. Second, there is forgiveness as an attitude, which is modeled by Christ and commanded from all His followers. The problem comes when we try to mix the two together.
For example, some Christian may say, “I don’t have to forgive the person who wronged me because they haven’t repented of the wrongdoing or asked for forgiveness.” The thought is that if the person is not right with God, then I have no obligation toward them. Some have taken this view so far as to say that it would be sinful to forgive someone who God has not forgiven.
We are required to forgive one another (Mt. 5:43-48; Eph. 4:31-32; Col. 3:12-14). It’s not easy to forgive, but it becomes easier if we realize that none of these passages could possibly be asking us to remove the person’s sins. Only Christ’s blood can bring cleansing of sins (Col. 1:13-14; 1 Pet. 1:18-20; 1 Jn. 2:2). We are commanded to forgive, not for the offender’s benefit, but for our own.
Consider the example of our Lord as He suffered on the cross. While experiencing great pain and cruelty, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Lk. 23:34). This powerful statement was echoed by the first Christian martyr. Just before Stephen was executed by stoning, he expressed the same attitude as the Savior (Acts 7:60). Understand that these statements do not absolve anyone of their guilt. Christ was not commanding the Father to drop all His usual conditions and wash away their wickedness. Rather, these recorded statements show how the Lord and Stephen were not seeking revenge or wishing to harm those who killed them. Their desire toward them is one of good, for their best spiritual benefit (1 Tim. 2:4)!
This aligns perfectly with the teaching of Jesus. The Master instructed His followers saying, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mt. 6:14-15). Interestingly, the forgiveness commanded of us is not based upon the wrongdoer’s repentance but on our own desire of a right relationship with God. This attitude of forgiveness entails no longer wishing to punish the offender. Vengeance, after all, belongs to God (Psa. 94:1; Rom. 12:19). Choosing to forgive someone does not mean you are condoning their action or stating that they are right with God. It’s about changing you! It means you are setting yourself free from hatred by choosing to treat them with loving kindness. How can recipients of God’s grace do anything less toward others? The Lord’s parable of the unforgiving servant communicates the same truth with powerful clarity (Mt. 18:21-35).
What’s more, the attitude of forgiveness strengthens our relationships within the church. When a brother or sister does something wrong, they need to know there’s a way back into the fold. Not just because of Christ’s blood and continual cleansing (1 Jn. 1:7), that is supremely important. But they are also helped because within God’s family there exists a place of safety, an opportunity for restoration, and people ready to forgive. We are knit together in love and feel for one another through ups and downs (Rom. 12:15; Gal. 6:1-2; Col. 2:2). If we maintain an attitude of forgiveness toward others, we make it easier for them to seek God’s forgiveness.
May we choose to humbly live out this lesson with gratitude for God’s wondrous grace. In His mercy, He has not dealt with us according to our iniquities (Psa. 103:10; Lam. 3:22). Let us all pray that we may have a more forgiving attitude.
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